the prophecy

I cried until my body ached,
tried to expel contents it didn't hold,
and put stars in my eyes,
then turned them solid cold.

I sobbed until my soul, broken inside me,
was released.

We

Intoxicated by the vine of
our entwining minds,
we travel, and together share
the joy and life each finds.

If

If I were more of a woman,
if I were more of a man,
if I were more undecided,
if I had more of a plan?

Would you love me?
Would you have me?
Would you never let me go?

Say, I'll do it, for I love you,
for I love you, love you so.

Man

I envied you today,
but not as I expressed;
I envied not your luck of mind,
instead, in fact, your chest
was what I envied you, so firm,
while mine hangs full of breast,
and that's not all I envied you,
I'll let you know the rest:

I envied green the slim green shadows
of your veins, under thin skin,
streaming so surely to'ards efficient
muscles, feeding them therein,
which, in their turn, could feed the mouths
of your wholesome, blood-bred children,
which nature hands you, nonchalant,
while mine, so kind, yet less than kin;

I envied weak your strength of birth,
your privileged position, ran
through in my head what crime, what
reason, rhyme, in me, born as I am,
and your God-given right to love,
contentment, family, life, canned
simplicity, for you are man,
for you are man, for you are man.

For Now

For now, I pointedly drop my necklace
under my shirt to sit over my heart,
out of view.

For now, I hold onto your gaze sometimes
as I shouldn't, holding strong but part wrong
onto you.

To the part which, for now, is as close as
I'll find to a part of your soul I can
hold as mine.

For, for now, and perhaps for this life, all
I hold in my heart must be held back, forced
to false "fine".

contemplations

It's so much more powerful,
and yet more sedate,
than you ever expected or thought.

As though what you thought was love,
was in fact rain,
and Love itself is actually the Ocean.